Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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