my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
