You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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