so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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