We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
