he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
