i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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