Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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