She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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