Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
