Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
