we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Two words: nipple clamps
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