with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
