Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
