Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
you would pick up someone in the library
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
