You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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