shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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