Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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