she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
