Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
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