do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
