Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
