I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize