This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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