she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
