I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Randomize
