I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great