I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.