this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
that is very illegal...i love you.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
