Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
