how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Farmville is her only friend.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
