I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize