he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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