If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize