Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
