Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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