I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I just want nice things and good sex
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
