I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
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