soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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