It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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