I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
