Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
