My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
