'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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