i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
