I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
