So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
