Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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