I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
