is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
