I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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