ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Randomize
