NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The adults are the big ones right?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
