oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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