What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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