Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
