And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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