you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
