bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Randomize
