Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
